Session Start: Sun Jul 28 01:58:25 2013 Session Ident: Zap^afk [01:58:25] Session Ident: Zap^afk (Zaphod@*****-451AF61E.dsl.bell.ca) [01:58:25] you! don't go anywhere...been wanting/meangin to talk to you for more than 24 hrs but life is fucking insanity and i've been getting 1 interruption after another, inside of another nonstop last 24-48 hrs, spent the whole day helping someone move [01:58:25] Zap^afk is Zaphod@*****-451AF61E.dsl.bell.ca * ... [01:58:25] Zap^afk on #KoD #reincarnation #dfb [01:58:25] Zap^afk using irc.the-reincarnation.com The Reincarnation IRC Server [01:58:25] Zap^afk has been idle 1sec, signed on Fri Jul 26 06:46:07 [01:58:25] Zap^afk End of /WHOIS list. [01:58:45] please that is :P [01:59:27] need 10 mins to fix mage that's been at full turns for 12 hrs [01:59:27] it's also 2am [01:59:32] ugh [01:59:40] ok, tomorrow? [01:59:56] pm me when you come online pls? [02:00:15] go move your mage [02:00:23] I have no means to snipe it [02:00:29] so you are fairly safe [02:00:31] :P [02:11:12] I think that's 10mins [02:11:29] yeah, just grabbing a drink, sec [02:13:58] ok, bear with me cuz my brains are scrambled, quit literally, was way too hot/humid while doing all the moving and by the time it was over i couldn't speak, mainly cuz i couldn't think well enough to be coherent :P [02:14:58] sure [02:17:33] i dunno if i mellowed somewhere along the way, or if i have a skewed perception of how things used to be, but it's clearly one or the other, i've been way too laid back, and too wishy washy on stuff i think, not vocal enough about stuff that bothered me...i never needed to be a dictator in the past(or at least i don't think i was), but it's obvious to me that i can't lead that way now, the way [02:17:33] i have been, the problems on blitz show me that it's my style that allows the problems to happen in the first place [02:18:41] cut the crap please [02:18:45] so i'm sorry, for lack of leadership, and for anything i did to contribute to the problems and the blow up, and i certainly didn't want you to leave [02:18:51] no crap P, this is how i feel [02:19:07] i'm an analyst, i lead 2 guilds, both have issues [02:19:23] are you aware of what pissed me off? [02:19:28] common thread is me, and not wanting to be the bad guy [02:19:34] not really no [02:19:55] so cut the crap still stands [02:19:56] or if i was, i honestly can't think well enough to remember right now, i'm really screwed up honestly :( [02:20:08] I'm not one of the dummies that blew a fuse [02:22:04] ok, here is how things looked from my point of view: [02:25:03] the set ended, was talk of needing a new leader, this bothered me because imo we had a pretty epic set, so i didn't understand needing a new leader, you stated flat out you wouldn't play with gb or goth(relented on goth thanks to elva), right away that puts me in a fucked spot...on one hand, there is you, and the ppl who likely go/stay based on your decision, other hand is gb, someone i know is [02:25:03] difficult to like a lot of the time, at least 2 have stated they don't like him, i suspect bels isn't too fond of him either, but would never say so [02:25:40] on the other, someone that has had my back every single time i needed someone to have it, whether i asked, or not [02:27:11] i couldn't just avoid him, i'm guilded with him on blitz, so i had to give him an answer, and i pretty much told him the truth: P doesn't want to play with you again, and we have a full roster now, she cited inactivity as the reasons for it, *imo* i think it is personal more than activity, but i stressed that was my own opinion [02:28:33] as a side note: i wanted to be sure i wasn't being biased out of loyalty, and asked 3 others in the guild if they thought my opinion was correct, or i was wrong, all 3 agreed they thought it was more of a personal thing than how he plays(tho we all agreed that he def. is not an ideal guildmate for various reasons) [02:30:02] knowing how gb is, and he would likely blow up, i tried to softsell it as much as i possibly could, tried to defuse him before he went off...didnt' work obviously [02:30:49] his initial outburst, was completely for show, he said to me right before he said it "watch, gonna make a bit of a stink in channel bout it, just a small one tho" [02:31:42] from there, i dun even know what happened, because i left the comp and went to bed, was too much for me...well, guess i went to bed when i left the other chan now that i think bout it, but it was all in a short time frame [02:34:11] that aside, along the way there was a 4 day debate about theme, which ended with basically no real choice made, tho i had 3 or 4 diff themes i would've gone with if i had felt it was my choice to make, but since i'd been replaced, it wasn't...the lineup kept changing from hour to hour, so i never had an answer for any of the others than came asking, tbp, derelict, etc [02:35:29] that day, i asked elva about whether derelict was in or out, because you'd said "he's useless, but i think he's cute, so he's ok", and she said you'd said he was in, "but she was drunk at the time, so you never know" [02:35:54] the truth: P doesn't want to play with you again [02:35:56] duuuuusssss [02:36:00] cut the fecking crap [02:36:06] I'm not one of the dummies [02:36:20] derelict came along while you slept, i told him "ok, have to confirm with P, because i have no idea what our count is at, who's in/who's out, but i'm 99.9% sure we have a spot for you' [02:36:37] then when i did a count, we were at 13 already [02:36:47] cut what crap? [02:37:59] all of it [02:38:03] [17:58] Playing ls again? [02:38:03] [17:59] so far, but i may yet suicide or something before -turns run out :P [02:38:04] [17:59] Any theme? [02:38:04] [17:59] And nope, you aren't allowed to suicide ;) [02:38:15] or maybe you don't see what I see [02:38:18] [17:59] Imma play green I think [02:38:18] [17:59] Why? [02:38:18] [17:59] well, let's see now... [02:38:18] [18:02] while still proclaiming me as "leader" P made ALL the decisions regarding guild set up, ppl's colors, who was in, who was out, invited new ppl to replace old ppl she didn't want, put bruto as in-game leader, "so that you'll have no amails to deal with and more time to make decisions and tell us what to do"...so i had no input in guild makeup, no input on theme(theme discussion [02:38:18] literally went on nonstop for 3 days, and in the end a "no-theme theme" was the result, members change from 1 minute to the next...not quite sure what it is i am "leading" :P [02:38:41] yaps [02:38:45] that crap too [02:38:55] you are fecking clueless about me [02:39:02] why you went wrong approach [02:40:07] i'm telling you how *I* saw it, you can call it "crap" if you like, but that is how i saw things, and how i felt about it [02:40:36] I can see how you saw it [02:41:10] well when you say "cut the crap", to me that sounds like you're calling bullshit, as if i was lying to you [02:41:23] no [02:41:35] then you're right, i'm clueless [02:41:43] you're just not telling me anything [02:42:15] [02:38:18] [18:02] while still proclaiming me as "leader" P made ALL the decisions regarding guild set up [02:42:20] that is putting blame on me [02:42:28] and if you think that's what I did [02:42:35] this whole conversation is useless [02:43:17] but that *is* how i saw it...every time i asked "whats our count now, is the topic correct?" or "is this person in, or no?" or anything along those lines, the answer was "ask P" [02:43:30] so? [02:44:07] if *I* dunno, i have to ask, and that was the answer i always got....so if you have all the answers, then it stands to reason you made the decisions, doesn't it? [02:44:19] i know i didn't make em [02:44:49] someone had to, or there wouldn't be answers [02:46:21] also: i don't think it's fair to say "i am putting all the blame on you", i said right at the start imo i haven't done a very good job of leading [02:47:47] too many times there was something that bothered me, that i could've, prob. should've said something bout right on the spot, but have had so many interior probs with blitz guild i am burned out, and instead just threw my hands up in the air, so to speak, and didn't [02:49:21] i tried to change my style midset last set, if you remember, sent out a somewhat pissy amail and all...lasted a couple days and i went back to the way i was before again [02:49:55] giving up on people and just let stuff happen isn't same as putting whatever blame on me or anyone else [02:50:22] i wasn't putting blame, i simply was saying i did not make the decision, that is it [02:50:31] other than saying [02:50:40] P doesn't want to play with you again [02:50:44] I give up once agaim [02:51:41] I have said repeatedly I had no problem with ghostbear [02:51:56] yet that got turned into Piglet doesn't want to play with ghostbear [02:52:09] are you kidding me? [02:52:12] I didn't want to play with gothmog or swordmage [02:52:21] you said same about gb [02:52:23] yet I told elva fine then get gothmog [02:52:24] no [02:52:25] never [02:52:32] go fucking read your logs [02:52:43] I've said repeatedly ghostbear was fine with me [02:53:04] it was wolfbite and elva that expressed their desire not to play with it [02:53:10] I was fine with that too [02:53:21] since I couldn't care less about it [02:53:41] i don't log, but others do, and soon as you said you had problem with gb, i got a pm saying "is she serious? /me goes to find the logs" [02:53:41] I would have been fine if it joined for another set [02:53:48] but I didn't care either if it didn't [02:53:49] *had no [02:54:07] I had the clash when it didn't show up for a bang [02:54:13] when its cat got sick [02:54:18] we talked that through [02:54:23] fuck [02:54:25] fuck [02:54:26] fuck [02:54:27] fuck [02:54:28] i remember soon as set ended, first thing you said to me was "i don't want to play with goth, or gb next set", then you added swordmage after you hit enter on first 2 [02:54:39] I'm so done with this bullshit of my words getting twisted [02:54:48] of me being the evil and mean one [02:54:50] fuck it all [02:54:52] really Session Close: Sun Jul 28 03:29:37 2013